It's sinking in

Yesterday was a rough day. It's hard to focus on anything. The lack of being able to think straight was one of the reason's I sought medical help in the first place. Now it's at least twice as hard to focus.

Riley and Sidney are having a difficult time too. Riley is constantly talking about me and the cancer and Sidney is in denial. After building the snowman on Sunday and then (finally) finishing the platform swing a few hours later, she said "You don't look like you have cancer. You just played outside and finished the swing, so how can you?" It was a well thought out argument and was humorous at the time. However, after 4 more days she is sticking with it. She's praying that I won't go to the hospital. Riley's prayer is that I don't get cancer twice. Well -- isn't that great? One is praying that it will cure itself and I don't go to the hospital. The other is praying that if I have it now then at least don't get it again.

Shelly had a hard time yesterday as well, but I leave it up to her to share her thoughts.

Here's some specific things to pray for:

• That I can do a decent job at work during this waiting period before surgery.
• That I recover quickly since I have just enough vacation/sick time built up to see me through the typical recovery period.
• That I don't get cancer twice (for Riley).
• For the right things to say to comfort the girls.
• For Shelly's continued strength.
  
• That it isn't any worse than what they think.

That last one is my biggest fear. If my exposure to radiation from the nuclear reactor on the submarine is the cause, then did it only affect the cells of my thyroid? I find that hard to believe. How will I know one way or the other, or is that too much to ask?

If you took the time to read this far then I love you. If not then I like you but you'll not know it.

- Emory